It has been a while after I recovered from my illness. I haven't got my self together yet as when I was normal, I mean.. in my normal state. 

I couldn't recall what it was and how I felt about the people around me because I just felt I was so empty those days when I was sick.

So, At the beginning of March until the beginning of May, it was my rollercoaster kind of days. The difference was unlike what Augustus Waters said in The Fault in Our Stars, mostly it was the rollercoaster that only goes down, or at least sometimes it was running straightly across my days & nights on the hospital bed.

That strange kind of feeling began when I went back to college. My faculty campus never looked so mesmerizing as I saw it that moment. Probably I just missed my life back then so much. Life was so different after spending approximately a month and a half between the hospital bed and my bedroom. I mean I did not go anywhere, except that one time my friend kidnapped me to go to the mall. LOL. I asked him to kidnap me / take me to the mall, in my sick sweater and hospital slippers.

I realize that people come and go, so does feeling, so does how we relate to other people. I realize I am not good in keep in touch. During 2 months I missed my college life, it was difficult for me to catch up with everything. I missed my college classes, moments with friends, my mid term, basically everything. My house is like 2 hours driving from the college. I used to stay near my university (and still I am). But when I was sick, I did not. So, basically the life before I was sick was everything that have to deal with my college.